Posted by Lady Tauna Robley on 7/26/2006
I was packing my bags and getting ready to go back to the world race when deep in my spirit something was unsettled.. Like a annoying gnat at first , as the days drew nearer to my departure the annoyance turned into anxiety... Something was not right..
My spirit and my mind were not in harmony.. My mind said you have to continue the world race at all costs and my spirit was saying "remember what i commanded you".. After a few phone calls and and much time spent in prayer i knew without a doubt that i was suppose to go back to India instead of continuing the race.
Almost all the world racers have been or will be called to a place on this trip, their hearts will swell and their spirits will feel at home at one of the hundreds of different places we visit during our journey.. And at the end of the year they will tell their families that they are going back, that they have been called by God and will pack their bags yet again to go back and make a difference in the place their heart remained.. I knew i was going back to India after the world race, I just didnt know i would be leaving the world race to go back to India.
As many of you might know India is in termoil right now, in many different ways.. Christians are being persecuted and there is bombs going off in others areas.. In the middle are thousands of orphans, the true victims of the violence and mistakes the adults have made.. There are threats of 100's of orphans being turned into the streets, and stories of little little girls being used as sex toys by government inspectors.. There's a spiritual battle going on in India and the adversary thinks he is winning, by slowing destroying the lives of children...
I remember mental battles that i have fought over the last couple years.. Battles of fear... A lingering feeling like God was preparing me for something that scares me.. From public words spoken over me that I am an Elisabeth Elliot,to supernaturally relating to courageous stories of other missionaries that put it all on the line to live out Gods calling and purpose in their lives... I felt a connection with them, a sense that one day i might share their fate and this knowledge scared me to death! I would plead with God for his will to be done in my life, to use me any why he willed, then i would change my mind and say no, God let me do your will but only in ways that aren't scary.. Then i would realize how weak i was and Pray that he would forgive me of my humanness and give me courage to live whatever life he gives me.
I shared my thoughts one night with Anna- Marie, She told me i was a leader.. And although on the world race i didn't shine as a leader she somehow seen through that and i told her that i was scared of the fu ture... She told me that some people are made for special things and i am probably one of them, but that i should'nt live in fear because God is with me, and that he would give me what i need at the exact time i needed it.. And that the advisary is trying to steal my joy by scareing me.. These aren't the exact words she used but the idea is what i remember...
Now with a new found courage and a peace in my spirit i will journey to India, in the midst of the turmoil to help the innocent... To most the timing would seem foolish but just like Noah when he built the ark, i will listen to God and do things on his timing and not my own.. There is a reason i will be where i go on the dates i will be there.. I do not know what the reason isyet, i only know i serve a faithful God.. A God that needs willing vessels to do his work, a God that shines a light upon my paths and prepares the way for me...
This is my destiny, Gods plan for my life, and im excited and content walking in it.. But i ask you, do you know yours? Is there something God has called you to do and your scared to do it? There is a book called "The Dream Giver", Its a great inspiration to those of us that know we are called to do something out of the ordinary but are kinda scared at the idea..
So with these words i leave you.. Blessed to have been a part of the World race and looking forward to what lies ahead..
May God shine his light upon your paths and guide your everystep..
In His Holy and Precious name,
Tauna*
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Posted by The World Race on 6/9/2006
I am back in the USA for a while visiting family and going to the doctor... I had hurt my ankle a few months ago and it never seemed to heal..
I went to the Doctor and she said that i got a small fracture about 3 months ago and it already healed and a badly spranged ankle that hasnt had a chance to ever heal because i was using it to much.. So !!! i was told to lay off of it for 2 to 3 weeks before u go back to World racing.. And i have some physical therapy sessions to make sure it heals right this time..
Its so good to see my family again, to hug them and eat my grandmas food! I cant wait to go to My Church and worship in English!
I have so many stories of How the Lord worked in my life and the lives around me over the last 5 months that i never have a shortage of things to talk about with my loved ones..
God is good!
Love,
Tauna*
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Posted by The World Race on 5/28/2006
For 3 weeks i am in Greece.. I am with Casey and Ashey and we are traveling to the towns that Apostle Paul traveled to in Greece..
I will post Photos soon. =) Until then look up Ashley's blog and see some pictures of where we have been thus far.. =)
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Posted by The World Race on 5/22/2006
I
am starting a life skills program at the orphanage for the girls.. This way they will get the skills needed to prepare them for college and/or real life if for some reason they drop out of college.
By teaching them better English, typing, phone, and data entry they will have a higher chance at finishing college and/or getting a job..
Knowing i couldn't adopt them all but feeling God calling me to help i felt torn and hopeless, I told God to show me what to do because i didn't see how i could help..
3 days later Allie (AIM STAFF) told me that if the girls knew better English they would have a better chance of making it through the very tough bible college, and if they didn't finish college they don't have any skills to get a job and because of the cast system if if they did get a job washing windows or picking up trash they could never get promoted because they are orphans..
So, i prayed and said ok God what do i do with this info.. And he said, Give my children what they need, i will guide you.
So, im starting the Life skills program and in September i will leave Africa and go back to India for 2 weeks to set up the program.. I will buy computers and things we will need for the program and work with Allie to get it up and running..I have NO clue what to do or how to do it, i have never donesomething likethis before, im nervous.. hehe..I will come back to India every few months to get the program running smoothly..
Also, one of the little girls named Zouzam has stolen my heart.. And i was hoping everyone could pray for me about adopting her.. Its very hard in India to adopt and God willing i am going to try..=)
I love you all and miss you all.. God is faithful.
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It is too hard to describe the orphanage.. Even to hard to describe the smell from the toxic Sewage River that runs not more then 1 klm from it.. But i think i can describe the 3 children God has destined to siege my heart...
Hinue, is 14 with a beautiful voice and a gifting for writing songs.. She is the older sister to Hahot.. They have lived at the orphanage 3 years.
Hahot is 12 years old and is best friends with Zoujam. She loves drawing. She is an overly affectionate child that craves love.. She is well behaved and has a smile that can light up a dark room. She has a little brother that is very adorable..
Zoujam is 10 years old and is as cute as a little girl can get... She has been at the orphanage 1 year and seems to have clung to Hahot as a best friend and security blanket.. She has a little brother there too but she doesn't see him often because boys and girls are not together very often..
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My first day there i met Hahot and Zoujam.. For some reason out of the 80 orphans and 22 missionaries us 3 found eachother and bonded....
The 3rd day there they decided to give each missionary 3 children to mentor and spend time with for the 3 weeks we would be there.. My Girls arms grasps even tighter around me as they prayed we wouldn't be separated.. I waited till the end to stand up because i wasn't sure what to do.. I had 2 little girls stuck to me and i was worried too because i had come to really adore them also..
So, i stood up and said.." Would it be ok if i made a group with these two girls and there older sister?" We have already began a friendship and i would like to see where it goes." She looked at us and the little girls hanging off me with hope in their tiny faces and said " ummm,ok".
My girls giggled and leapt with joy, i was so happy that turned out so well.. And at this point i knew God was involved...
The next few days we spend all my free time together.. They would give me little snakes they had( a big deal considering they dont have anything!) and include me in every game they played making sure i won every time..Igot used to thehugs i got every time they seen me..
One day in a meeting Alli (one of our advisors) was telling us more about the children.. She said most of the kids are orphans with no parents or parents that are lepors in colonies, or children with parents to poor to care for them, and they will live there whole life at the orphanage..
Then she said something that struck my heart with such force i might never be the same..She said, a few of the girls are not Indian they are from another place and are Asian looking, these girls have a high chance of becoming sex slaves one day..
I knew without a doubt she was talking about my 3 girls..
Then she continued and said, Sometimes the family drops them off here so they get feed and learn English then pick them up when they are the right age and sell them or use them in the sex slave industry. I knew that she was talking about Zoujam.. I died inside..
There is only 4 girls at the orphanage that look Asian, and 3 of them are my girls.. Zoujam is 10 and beautiful, she said her parents dropped her off 1 year ago to learn English. She thinks they are coming back..
I see the love they desire and how innocent they are.. And during worship one night i started to cry when i thought of someone exploiting that... I have to do something if i can.. But what?
I pray every morning and night for them, but that isn't enough, i feel God pulling me.. I feel called to do something! I have no clue what or how.. So i wait upon the Lord..
I know he will direct my path.. He is theone that destined me to be here, so in His time i know He will reveal my purpose. Until then please join me in prayer for these children.
I love and miss you all!!!! ill put up photos as soon as i can find an internet cafe that has the technology to do so..
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I had the most wonderful Birthday any girl could have!
On the beach in the paradise island of Phuket with 27 of the most sweet and fun people in the world.
From 6:45am when some of the girls woke me up with a sand cake singing happy birthday until 9:00pm when fireworks went off on the beach, my birthday was a blessing.
We had a party in the evening and played games and each person wrote a very heart warming note just for me to read. And we went out for dessert that night too! boy was is a great day. Praise the Lord!
We havent had time to blog as of late but i think we will have some time in the next few days (im hoping).
We will be racing the next day, so keep us in your prayers and keep an eye out for my blogs to come!
Love you all and miss you!
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Phil 2:4 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better then yourselves. Each of you should not only look to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:"
As i spend time in prayer lately i have concluded that our very nature is selfish. So living this verse is very challenging. I meditate on this concept and i am very convicted.
Jesus forgive me!!! I focus on my happiness, and my goals. I ask questions sometimes to set the other person up to hear what i would like to.
I have found myself speaking to be heard and respected and not everything i say and do is for your glory, sometimes its for my own. I repent and ask you to continue exposing these areas of my life and help me to be more like you in all i do.
I can fool others but you see into my heart Lord. You know my intentions and my thoughts. And you love me in spite of them. How undeserved is your love for me!!!!!!!!
I worship you and thank you Lord for your grace and love. Thank you for the joy and peace you fill me with.
I will praise your name for eternity. I love you.
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Some of the girls on the World race with our pretty while flowers.